When I Put Love at the Head of the Table
In this time of increased isolation, loneliness, fear, and division, it's getting harder to lead with love. But how would our lives change if we did?
When we are afraid, we feel disconnected from love. Our sense of safety declines, we pull in, and retreat. We stop recognizing our place in the wheel of life, and fear takes center stage. Leading with love becomes more and more of a challenge. At times, it feels like a foolish impossibility.
Yet in times rife with hate and ugliness, keeping our heart open and leading with love can become a discipline, a choice, a spiritual practice, an intention.
That leads to today’s writing prompt:
When I put love at the head of the table.
What happens? How does it transform your life?
Here’s my response:
When I put love at the head of the table, my to-do list disappears. My wife becomes a vibrant precious human being again. I see her beauty, her fortitude, her steadiness, her artistry, the way she has provided the ground beneath my feet, created the home we live in, stood in the center of the family we raised for well over 30 years. She stops being someone who fits into my plans. She becomes a precious, shining light worthy of my full, undivided attention.
When I put love at the head of the table, I say yes to friends, not how about a week from Wednesday, but rather, I can drop what I’m doing right now. Yes, this is a good time to talk. Yes, come right over. I have soup. Yes, let’s go for a walk.
When I put love at the head of the table, I accomplish less, but what is doing in the face of love?
When I put love at the head of the table, I cherish the history of whoever it is who’s before me. I let the breadth and depth of all the years we’ve known each other open my heart. I stop judging. I stop criticizing. Most of all, I stop being distracted and wondering where else I could be. What else I should be doing. What I need to do in five minutes, ten minutes, an hour. When I put love at the head of the table, there is no reason to be anywhere else. Nothing else matters, just being together, moments of comfort, presence, and ease.
When I put love at the head of the table, I honor all the people who have loved me, who saved me again and again, from the time I was a little girl, a confused teenager, an ashram girl, a bartender, a lost 21-year-old snorting cocaine with a fellow waitress while listening to Beethoven while we ignored her children in the living room. Through my lostness and confusion, there were always those special people who saw me as whole, and through their belief, enabled me to become whole. When I think about the people who literally saved me through their faith and love for me, their certainty that I was not broken, who held the vision of the person I was becoming, I ask myself, what am I ever doing holding back from love because I have something to do?
When I put love at the head of the table, I close the computer, turn off my phone, set down my list.
When I put love at the head of the table, I forgive myself. I forgive those around me. I embrace my own imperfections and the imperfections of those I love. I stop seeing others as the enemy. I reach beneath our differences and touch the common humanity we share. I feel connected, not lonely.
When I put love at the head of the table, my life is full and rewarding. Joy dances at my feet. Presence fills me. My heart cracks open again and again.
When I put love at the head of the table, I am living the life I am meant to live. I am following my own true north star.
Now it’s your turn. Pull out your notebooks. You can also use this prompt for discussion, meditation or conversation with a friend.
PROMPT: When I put love at the head of the table. Use it as a repeating line. Write it in your notebook, then follow that thread in one direction. Then write it down a second time: When I put love at the head of the table. Follow a different thread. Keep repeating the prompt for fifteen minutes.
As always, I invite you to share your thoughts or excerpts from your writing in the comments.
And remember, every time you click the heart, leave a comment or share a post, you’re making it easier for new readers to discover The Writer’s Journey.
WRITE WITH LAURA
The work of my heart is to teach.
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How To Get the Most Out of Writing Prompts:
If you’re new to my Substack, here’s my advice for how to mine the deepest material in your writing:
Thank you, Laura, for this radiant piece, and for the reminder to return to what matters most.
When I Put Love at the Table
My compass steadies, pointing to the heart of what matters most. The rush softens, lists drift away. What seemed urgent, isn’t. I breathe. I stay. I cherish the beloveds in my orbit.
And in that stillness, I remember: to show up fully, with heart and presence, and that, in itself, is LOVE.
Beautiful Laura, thank you.